Different job, same burnout.
Different partner, same arguments.
Different goals, same empty feeling when I got them.

One night, after another fight with my boyfriend about money and “expectations”, I just walked out and ended up sitting in front of a small temple near my apartment. There was this old monk sweeping the yard. I don’t know why, but I asked him, “Why do I keep choosing suffering?”

He looked at me and said quietly, “You don’t choose suffering. You choose ignorance, craving and clinging. Suffering is just the bill that arrives.”

He told me about something called “the chain” — how we keep repeating the same patterns: not seeing clearly → acting on impulse → getting attached → getting hurt → then doing it all again in another form. Birth and death aren’t just about bodies. They’re also about how we keep letting the same toxic emotions be “reborn” every day.

I went home and suddenly saw my life differently.
I wasn’t just “unlucky in love” – I craved being needed, so I clung to people who loved control.
I wasn’t just “overworked” – I craved approval, so I said yes to everything, then cried in the shower.
I wasn’t just “anxious” – I was terrified of loss, so I tried to hold everything tighter… and lost myself instead. 😔

These days, I’m practicing something simple: pause, breathe, watch.
When I feel that old urge to beg someone to stay, to overshare, to overwork just to be seen… I stop and ask, “Is this wisdom, or just the chain again?” Some days I still fail. But some days, I feel… free. Even just for a moment.

Be honest: do you feel like you’re living the same painful chapter in different versions too? If you were me, where would you start cutting your “chain” first? 💭